camping…according to dogs

As we get geared up in the U.S. for a long holiday season, we resurrect an oldie but goodie:

Camp Terms (as defined by dogs)

Camp spot: The exact spot the dog lays as you’re trying to set up.

Lantern: The device that is supposed to prevent you from tripping over the dog in the dark.

Tent: A portable outdoor home, of which the dog takes up the first 50 percent of the space, and tracks debris through the remaining 50 percent.

Camp fire: The device used to roast a perfect hot dog, which is inevitably snagged by dog as soon as it’s hot.

Pre-dawn Alarm Clock: “[Whine, howl, bark]”—in other words, “time to let the dog out to go to the bathroom.”  Then the dog runs after a squirrel and a good 15 minutes is spent calling them back.

Sleeping bag: A.K.A. portable dog bed.

Marshmallow: Sticky-natured substance with properties especially attracted to dog hair.