If Santa had flying sled dogs instead of reindeer:
1. He would be late on account of his team stopping and peeing on every chimney.
2. Rudolf would be replaced with a Ruff Wear Beacon light.
3. You would hear Ruff Wear boots prancing on the rooftops instead of hooves.
4. He would say “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” instead of, “Ho, ho, ho.”
5. He wouldn’t be able to sneak down the chimney on account of all the barking.
6. Dog whistles would replace sleigh bells.
7. Feline-friendly homes would receive coal in their stockings.
8. The sleigh would have to circle three times before landing at each house.
9. His team would play fetch with the stars.
10. He would have to move his operation to Bend, Oregon, so he could have ready access to Ruff Wear gear all year ‘round!