We got a good chuckle as this funny excerpt circled around the office courtesy of camping-tips.com, however we feel it lacked the true spirit of camping with your canine.  So, we’d like to share camping-tips.com’s funny piece, but we’ve also our own Ruff Wear touch.  Enjoy!

Camp Terms Defined (via camping-tips.com):

Camp spot: the most likely place for wind velocities to exceed fifty miles per hour, five minutes after you have spent 2 hours setting up your camp.

Lantern: a device for singeing the eye brows and eye lashes off anyone closer that 5 feet when it is lit.

Tent: A portable outdoor home used to protect one from the elements unless it rains, snows, the wind blows, it’s cold or hot. It is usually setup with poles. It also has entertainment value doubling as a puzzle. Usually setup after dark using a flashlight with dead or nearly dead batteries.

Camp fire: A device used to heat bacon grease to a temperature hot enough such that it can be combined with cold water, producing entertainment for the kids and a team-building experience for adults as they try to maximize the entertainment. Lighting the campfire itself sometimes serves as good entertainment as well. Also serves as the camp recycle container and television set, and is very useful for choking the camp cook out of the kitchen. Occasionally, you’ll find the odd person actually using it’s heating abilities to get warm as if they were on a rotisserie.

Pre-dawn Alarm Clock: Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom. Did you hear that growling noise? Is something burning? Where’s Gabie?

Sleeping bag: An easy to setup camping bed that has the amazing ability to make warm things hot and cold things colder, especially feet. It doubles as a sponge for soaking up water from leaks in your tent.

Marshmallow: A soft pure white substance that has spontaneous combustion properties. It is also believed by some to have been one of the early prototypes of gorilla glue as it can fuse the fingers of children together.

Ruff Wear’s Definitions:

Camp spot: The exact spot the dog lays as you’re trying to set up.

Lantern: The device that is supposed to prevent you from tripping over the dog in the dark.

Tent: A portable outdoor home, of which the dog takes up the first 50 percent of the space, and tracks debris through the remaining 50 percent.

Camp fire: The device used to roast a perfect hot dog, which is inevitably snagged by dog as soon as it’s hot.

Pre-dawn Alarm Clock: “[Whine, howl, bark]”—in other words, “time to let the dog out to go to the bathroom.”  Then the dog runs after a squirrel and a good 15 minutes is spent calling them back.

Sleeping bag: A.K.A. portable dog bed.

Marshmallow: Sticky-natured substance with properties especially attracted to dog hair.

7 thoughts

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  2. Hilarious! I love the pre-dawn alarm clock – it’s right to the point and Ruff wear’s definitions really had me laughing! Oh, you just gotta love dogs. I think I’m seeing marshmallows in a different light now – Gorilla glue 😀 lol

  3. Ha! Ha! Ha! Great dog dictionary… I should have brought with me alarm clock before when we went camping with my dog. He should have not messed on our camping gears and on the doorstep of the tent. That was so unpleasant.

  4. Marshmallow: a very sticky substance that finds the closest dog and promtly nests in their hair!

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